Everyday, Every Night
by Nova-Author
Summary: "Why couldn't I have taken your place? Why did Hinata go and not me, I would have protected you…as much as you wouldn't have wanted it…why couldn't you have taken me with you, why couldn't I have died and be with you right now…? If you're gone, I want to be gone with you." "Because I am still with you, Ten Ten, you just have to find me.";; NejiTen.
1. Chapter 1

**Ten-Ten & Neji;; Nejiten;; Fan-Fiction;; Hurt/Comfort/Romance;; T Rating;; Everyday, Every Night.;; **

** "Everyday, Every Night."**

** CHAPTER ONE:: WRITTEN IN STONE**

The singeing daylight faded as the plum shaded night waved through the sky of The Leaf in hues of lavender, cerulean, and speckles of chrome. The faintest freckles of polished stars flecked the sky. The wind wisped through the willows, and twirled through the empty yard that held the tombs of lost loved ones. The autumn leaves twirled unsteadily through the dusky night, crispy crinkles creaking from the forsaken shed of skin the trees had let loose. The fading sound of the hooting owl far in the distant forest echoed through the seemingly barren air. What was the point in noticing the air when you wished that you weren't breath yourself?

The evergreen strands of grass tickled my knees, leaving light stains as I slumped down in front of the polished rock. Deep incisions in the dense stone confirmed my worst possible fears. The name was so familiar, so beautiful. The way that it would roll off the tongue was so delicious. I missed saying his name. His voice was beginning to diminish as does his memory. His voice was so wilted in my mind, though I always remembered him saying my own name. _Ten-Ten. _Oh how I wished that was his voice right now, calling my name, though it was only a distant memory. The touch of his surprisingly warm hand, his deep thoughts, his skill, his talent, his care for everyone, I missed it all.

The feeling of his quaky lips against my own, I missed that as well. His fear, his distance, not wanting to hurt me emotionally or physically, scared that if he were to make advances that it would scare me away from him for good. His nervousness with a simple kiss, it made me feel like he cared, because he was scared that he would hurt me. He was loving in his own way.

Whimpers racked my body as the sobs began to draw from my body, breaking down with every punishing heave that my chest made. My body hurled over. The musky dirt danced around my hair and body, the grass blemished my arms with ivy stains. The sobs began to wrack my body, sending pain into my ribs and my dry lungs. The cries and calls were unheard, inaudible to everything and everyone around me. The cries that were always hidden by the confidence that always glazed over my skin, nobody knew how much it hurt, how much it killed me inside every day. It was unheard of for me to cry, no one has seen it happen before. No one ever suspected that the lost of my dearest team-mate had really left a scar. _But he's free now. The bird has been released from his cage. _

The transparent liquid regret spilled down my cheeks, gliding thoroughly off the crest of my jaw, dripping onto the ground, little splashes of brine stirring some dust from the dirt.

"Why couldn't I have taken your place? Why did Hinata go and not me, I would have protected you…as much as you wouldn't have wanted it…why couldn't you have taken me with you, why couldn't I have died and be with you right now…? If you're gone, I want to be gone with you." The whisper was hoarse as it drifted from my crackled lips. The tears began to fog my vision, not allowing me to see anymore. Closing my eyes tightly shut, my body convulsed from the weeping.

_"Ten-Ten." _called an oh-so familiar voice from the shadows.

Wonder washed over me, though the blubbering that was coming from my body didn't cease.

"Neji…" The name continued to find space on my lips every time my quaky breathe hitched.

He was always so powerful, so brash. Inside he really did care, somewhere down there, he did. He sacrificed his own life to save the life of Hyuga Hinata, and of Uzumaki Naruto. Even as much as Naruto never ceased to annoy him, he still complied, and saw the true youth that Naruto had. Even though he almost gave his cousin cardiac arrest, in the end he loved her more than anything else. Overall, he fulfilled his duty to his father, to complete his training, and to protect the life of Hyuga Hinata, the heir to the throne that he had always wanted for himself. He was unsure, and internally afraid, but now, he is free. He lived out his destiny and never strayed from the path that he believed was assigned to him, of that of the side branch of the family, the under-classmen, he treated everything as if it were written in stone, and he treated it as if it could be unchanged, and unwritten. He always wanted to be free from his mental imprisonment…and he got what he had always dreamed of.

And now, here I lay, on the ground of the Konoha cemetery, expressing emotions that ninja aren't supposed to have. I went against what I have learned.

_"The number one rule for a ninja; never express emotions, regardless of what happens, you will not have love, sadness, hatred, or pain. You will carry out your duties calmly and thoroughly, and do nothing more." Iruka states on the first day of the ninja academy school year, like he does every year. I tilt my head towards my seat mate, a new child I've never met before, Neji Hyuga, "Um..". His pale, insipid eyes gazed in my direction, seemingly bored, irritated, and not really seeming to have the want to talk, or ever correspond with me. "Yes, what is it?" His voice was rough, and it almost sounded peeved, a little hiss in the undertone of his voice. Prodding two of my fingers together, I tried to think of what I was going to ask. I'm eight years old, how am I supposed to remember stuff like that ? "Um…well, why can't we have feelings?" My voice was quiet, as if unsure of myself. This seemed to catch the Hyuga's attention, and he said as if it was the most obvious thing on planet Earth, "Because if one of your loved ones die, your work as a ninja becomes defective." Gazing off at nothingness, he looked me straight in the eyes. His eyes were that of a pale lavender color, that reminded me of the bouquets that we made when learning to be a kunoichi. I had picked so much lavender and so many lilies and roses. "You know, you sound a lot like my little cousin. You shouldn't stutter like that, it makes you look weak, and it's rather annoying, toughen up, and I'll bet you you'll be the best ninja I know." I smiled brightly, "Thanks Neji!"_

And here I was, crying because the one I loved died, hating the fact that he had died such a bad death, hating that man who killed him, and not wanting to do my assignments, and maybe one day I'll have the chance to reap what I have sown. Was this my destiny? Was this written in stone when I was first born?


	2. I'm Through With It All

**I'm Through With It All, And I Won't Be Back Again**

"Oh Tenten…" The soft, lingering voice held no anger, though it held some concern and sadness. His heart wrenched horribly, as if his whole chest was grabbed by some sort of searing hand, and twisted, made into a bent piece of nothingness. There was no way to describe the harsh pain that his heart felt at the moment. "I'm still alive…I'm still here with you…you just have to find me."

I found myself in my bed. This was a daily ritual. I had always ended up in my bed after each visit to the cemetery. Lee, Gai-Sensei, or some other Nin usually brings me home after late hours after I pass out after hours of weeping.

"Tenten, you were out late again…you need to stop this, this isn't going to help you feel any better, and it won't bring the dead back to life, no matter what you do…it cannot be changed, so stop crying over it. A true ninja never displays emotions of caring, sadness, grief, or love. Learn how to handle it, or you will never get your fiery youth back." The voice was so familiar, and when I saw the taller teen standing at the doorpost, it was obvious who it was. I almost thought it was Gai-Sensei, based on the looks at least. But no, it was surely Lee. Lee had changed so much after the war. After Neji had died, he had mellowed out…though there was something he was most definitely off about him…to say, he had taken up the personality of Neji, which made everything worse. It made me miss the Hyuga even more than I already did. Lee had an empty void where his "youth and vigor" used to be, and it was replaced with some sort of apathy, as if he felt absolutely nothing anymore. He was lucky, he couldn't feel the way that my emotions tore away at my heart, ravenously attacking it, waiting for it to die, seemingly wanting to devour it and tear it to shreds.

Though something snapped in me, something that I knew shouldn't have snapped, because it felt so wrong, but yet so right. It was as if a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders, though it was wrong, because the way that my mind was going to take care of it wasn't the right way to take care of anything, especially for a kunoichi. It wasn't proper etiquette for a kunoichi to display her rage towards anyone.

"Don't tell me what a ninja can and cannot be, Lee! Just because Neji died doesn't mean that you are all high and mighty in our team! You know how it feels to love and be loved, you know how it feels to care, you know how it is to feel the warmth of someone else's arms, you know how it feels to be cared about, you know how it feels to watch your loved ones get killed or get hurt, it hurts, doesn't it? If you say that what I'm saying is false, than you are just lying straight through your teeth! You were the first one to breakdown when Neji died, I wasn't! You were the one who cried first, who screamed first, who cared first! You have no right to tell me anything, especially since you can't follow what you say! You love Gai-Sensei just as I loved Neji! You hated it when Gai had found a new student to teach, and when that student beat you in the first time you fought, you thought that Gai didn't care anymore, and you pushed yourself harder to make yourself more worthy to Gai, because you thought that you would never be his favorite anymore! You got stronger because of the betrayal of a loved one! Neji died, and I will get stronger from that! At least the person that you loved didn't die in that stupid war, at least you didn't lose your heart, at least you didn't have to go through the emptiness and sorrow of forever knowing that you will never hear their voice, or ever feel their touch, and knowing that eventually, as time goes by, your memories will soon vanish along with all those lost feelings!"

His dark, obsidian eyes didn't shift in any way, they just stayed focused on me. He didn't seem surprised by my outbreak, but to be honest, I was starting to get scared of myself.

"You know Tenten, you really don't understand."

Maybe I didn't. But he sure as hell didn't know anything of what I felt, at least, that's what I thought, and that's all I was going to accept at the moment.

"You do not know how it feels, for everyone around you to die…to feel empty, because the death of the team-mate that was the most special to everyone in the team died…and now everyone around you, your loved one in your team, are slowly dying inside…it hurts more than the death of a single loved person. It hurts more because everyone you love is slowly dying and suffering, and you don't even know what to do because you know that they're already too much far gone…you won't understand because you're too numb to see the fact that your withering is putting me through so much pain…I would rather die right now than go through another single moment watching you and Gai Sensei in pain, and watching your eyes clouded in sadness, and clouded with lost memories…it makes me feel like you don't care about me, and that you not even see me anymore…you render me lonely….as if you're not even around. I now know my place, it is about time that you have learned your's." His voice sounded stressed. Tears slithered down his cheeks like a snake, pooling at the rim of his jaw.

"Goodbye, Tenten."

And now I have just lost Lee. I lost him because I thought that I was the only one suffering, and that nobody understood what I was going through. It just turns out that I was wrong, and it cost me the loss of the second most important person in my life. I'm so stupid. I'm through with this all, and I was too far gone to come back again.


	3. Come Find Me, Love

** Find Me, Love**

** UNLEASHED A LION**

****_"Goodbye, Tenten." _

_And now I have just lost Lee. I lost him because I thought that I was the only one suffering, and that nobody understood what I was going through. It just turns out that I was wrong, and it cost me the loss of the second most important person in my life. I'm so stupid. I'm through with this all, and I was too far gone to come back again. _

Sleep wasn't something that came easily to me anymore. It was overturned and wasted, just as my emotions. My mind stirred recklessly every time that I'd even try to sleep. Eyes twitching in pain, the only thing that would come to my mind was old memories, only figments of my imagination.

"Destiny is determined when one is born, their abilities are set and done. You can receive ability through training, studying, through practice, though you will have a set limit, something that you cannot go past. Losers will always remain losers, and they should stop trying to be something they will never be." I muttered this softly under my breath, remembering the words that he had preached during the Chunin Exams. Sometimes, I wondered if he was the one who was always right, and everyone else contradicting him always had a false sense of hope.

And maybe this was my destiny. To be alone in the universe, with no one to have, no one to hold, to be no better than a kunoichi who works behind the scenes and never seemingly does a single thing. Maybe this is meant to be, my destiny.

Sometimes I feel like my own only friend, always talking to myself, always keeping myself company with warm thoughts of the past. He was once there to comfort me, to hold me, to…love me. He was always there. His voice was constantly ringing in my head, always telling me to move on…it was always like that he was alive to me, only me though, no one else could see him. That was how it felt.

It wasn't a surprise that no one is out there to comfort me, the fact that I am all alone. I'm lonely. Together, him and I would cry, I was the only one to see his weak side, the side where he was fragile, like a pretty porcelain doll, like he was all mine, and no one else's, that I was the only one who was allowed to see him in his foreign weak state.

_"Tenten." _

I heard my name being called again. His voice was saccharine sweet, and smooth as velvet. It was delicate, and soft, feathery. This happened so often. It really messed with my mind, it drove me insane.

"Stop it! Stop it already! Stop tormenting me! I can't take it anymore! Stop! Stop! Stop it!" I hadn't expected that to come out of my mouth. Especially in the high-pitched, defenseless squeal, it made me feel weak. The sound of my voice just proved to me how weak I was getting, and how that "fiery youth" I once had was starting to disappear.

_"Tenten…you're not alone…you know who I am…please don't tell me that you've forgotten me already." _

"I haven't forgotten you! Please! Don't torment me! I know that this is just my mind thinking up ways to try and comfort me!" That's what I thought. My mind constantly did that, betraying my attempts to try and forget about the Hyuga.

_"Tenten, I'm not tormenting you. I'm trying to get you to notice me. I've been here the whole time. I'm still here."_

"Then where are you, huh!?" I snapped at the thin air of nothingness in my room. The room was empty and desolate of any other sound besides my crying and screams.

_"I'm still with you. Every step of the way, every day, every night…I watch you suffer. I can't take it anymore. Tenten…I'm still here, you just have to find me." _

"Neji…you're dead…stop fooling me…it's not nice." Murmuring under my breath, I buried my face into my pillow. My fingers gripped into the soft cotton of the blanket beneath me.

"_Oh Tenten, but I'm not…I'm still here…still alive…you just have to find me, love. Find me, my love, I dare you." _


End file.
